Recognizing an anxious attachment style involves observing certain key signs, such as:
Low self-esteem
Intense fear of rejection and abandonment
Demonstrating clinginess in relationships
Constantly seeking reassurance regarding one's worthiness and lovability
Generally, you need constant reassurance that you are loved, worthy, and good enough.
In the context of finances, these are some ways in how our anxiety may show up in our behaviours with money. Reflect on the list below and take note of the behaviours that you relate to (you may not identify with all of them)
Financial Independence:
Experiencing an heightened fear of scarcity, leading to excessive worry about running out of money or falling short of meeting essential needs.
Dependency on Financial Partners
Seeking financial reassurance from partners or relying heavily on them for financial security, potentially straining relationships.
Emotional Spending
Utilizing spending as a coping mechanism for stress or as a means of seeking comfort, often resulting in impulsive or emotionally driven financial decisions.
Fear and Guilt in Spending
Alternating between feeling paralyzed in spending, fearing parting ways with money and feeling deprived, showcasing fluctuating behavior.
Seeking Validation through Material Possessions
Associating material possessions with validation, leading to an urge to acquire them for a sense of security or worthiness, potentially resulting in overspending on luxury items to maintain a particular lifestyle.
Financial Infidelity
Associating material possessions with validation, leading to an urge to acquire them for a sense of security or worthiness, potentially resulting in overspending on luxury items to maintain a particular lifestyle.
Overreacting to Financial Stress
You are stuck in cycles of financial chaos. You may experience periods of financial instability, followed by attempts to regain control, only to fall back into chaotic patterns.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries
You might struggle with setting clear financial boundaries, either by overspending to please others or by allowing others to take advantage of you financially.
Tips to heal your anxious attachment to money
Once you are aware of your anxious attachment style, the only way to heal it is by changing the belief system you currently hold about yourself and about other people. This means you need to embody your unquestionable worth and truly believe in that you are valuable, lovable and supported.