The main signs that you struggle with disorganized attachment style are the following:
Lack of coherent approach to relationships (hot/cold)
Avoid strong displays of closeness and intimacy
Want deep relationships but are scared of them
Generally, you want to love and be loved. But on the other hand, you have a strong fear that the people who are closest to you will hurt you.
In the context of finances, these are some ways in how our disorganized may show up in our behaviours with money. Reflect on the list below and take note of the behaviours that you relate to (you may not identify with all of them)
Impulsive Financial Behavior
You may engage in impulsive spending or financial decisions without a clear plan, driven by emotional responses or a lack of consistent strategies.
Difficulty Establishing and Maintaining Financial Stability
Establishing and maintaining financial stability can be challenging. Inconsistent patterns of caregiving in childhood may lead to difficulty in creating a stable financial foundation such as sticking to a budget for example.
Financial Avoidance or Neglect
You may avoid dealing with financial matters altogether. This avoidance may stem from a fear of repeating past patterns of unpredictability or chaos.
Inconsistent Financial Goals
You may have inconsistent goal-setting behaviors. You may struggle to set clear financial goals or may set goals impulsively without a well-thought-out plan.
Financial Dependence on Others
You may develop a dependence on others to handle your financial matters. This dependency may result from a lack of confidence in your own ability to manage money independently.
Difficulty Trusting Others
You may find it challenging to trust financial advisors leading to difficulties in delegation. In your personal life, you may struggle trusting your partners, making it hard in joint financial planning or sharing financial responsibilities. In general, you are challenged in communicating and resolving financial disagreements with others.
Cycles of Financial Chaos
You are stuck in cycles of financial chaos. You may experience periods of financial instability, followed by attempts to regain control, only to fall back into chaotic patterns.
Financial Anxiety or Overwhelm
You may experience heightened financial anxiety or feelings of overwhelm. The lack of a secure base in childhood can contribute to a sense of insecurity and uncertainty in managing financial matters.
Tips to heal your disorganized attachment to money
Once you are aware of your disorganized attachment style, the only way to heal it is by changing the belief system you currently hold about yourself and about other people. This means you become aware on how your fear of intimacy and emotional vulnerability is holding you back from experiencing a deeply fulfilling life.